The Tide Is Out

I remember the feelings I had when I walked down the aisle of our little country church to proclaim "Jesus is Lord". In that first flush of salvation, every cell in my body grew larger, my lungs expanded without enough air to fill them. My heart beat faster. My face hot, my palms moist and little shivers running down my spine - I knew I was 'in love'.

For days afterward, I smiled wherever I went. Suddenly, I was estatic about doing dishes or driving the car, and even washing out the bathtub was a delight. High tide was beating on my shores and it felt good.

However, the cares of the world accosted me from my spiritual fullness. Strife replaced my peace and heaviness replaced my joy. Doubt quickly followed, and I questioned whether I was really saved or if those feelings were my own fantasies. The tide had gone out.

In the following years, I became accustomed to the ebb and flow of my spiritual life; sometimes the tide was in, and sometimes the tide was out. But I longed for a more consistent relationship with God.

Then I was given a sword. That sword was constructed of two things, my will and my words. God gave us free will knowing what would happen in the Garden of Eden. He knew that Satan would take possession of the world, but Satan was not allowed to take our will.

I learned that if I choose nothing, then by default Satan has control of the situation, but when I choose God, Satan must stand back defeated. So, when anger wells inside of me, I simply say, "I choose God." When I am filled with despair - I reply, "I choose God." And, everytime I choose God, the tide comes rushing back to shore.