Location: New England, United States

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Stepping Out of the Boat

Many of us are employed in quiet desperation. We realize that we are just one pink slip away from ruin. For many years, I carried dread. I slept with dread, woke with dread and ate with dread. The dread would sometimes wane and at other times wax , but it was always present. It was the dread of unemployment, and as a single mother - I feared this dread greatly.

Last week, I was informed by my manager that the higher powers would be deciding whether to close my department or keep it going. I was now standing face to face with my dread, and a curious thing happened; suddenly, I was delivered from my dread.

I went to the Lord asking "What should I do?" He gave me Matthew 14 Verse 26 - But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, 'It is a ghost'." RSV Many times what we fear has no more substance than a ghost. It is a crippling illusion that passes into our soul to be fed by our doubt, and as it is fed; it grows.

Verse 27 - "But immediately he spoke to them, saying, 'Take heart , it is I; have no fear.' " RSV Suddenly, I felt light, peaceful and there was a joy of release in my soul. I was no longer the corporate performer, but I was Annie again. I remembered that as God's child, no one can touch me without his permission. He was in control of the situation and although I may not trust the people who will make the decisions for my future, I can always trust that God will do what is best for me. Faith is the light that will wither doubt, fear and dread.

Matthew 14 continues - Verse 29 - "So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus." RSV When we are released from fear we see possibilities just as Peter did when he stepped out of the boat. I began to see that the possibility of losing my job is not dread - but my opportunity to walk on water.


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